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President Biden Federally Legalizes Copium

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden signed (D) an executive order today to federally legalize copium, an allegorical inhalant typically used to cope with impending loss and/or abject failure. “With this bill, the American people will no longer need to worry about inflation, COVID-19, Putin, or global warming,” said Biden from the White House. “As […]