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We just came into possession of the Ultimate Industrial Strength Stainless Steel Mega Vaporizer 3000 by Black and Decker. This thing has a titanium casing with stainless steel paneling and a cast iron base. The vaporizing mechanism is made from what they make space shuttles out of. This thing can vaporize anything you put in it: bricks of cannabis, gallons of concentrate, a shoe — literally anything.

So we dumped an order of Buffalo Wild Wings blazin’ hot wings in there to see what happens.

Imagine firing up your vaporizer and while getting blazed you were also getting BLAZED! That’s what we wanted to try. The flavor profile of wings, the vaporic residue of weed, all coalescing into a delicious and intoxicating gaseous behemoth floating across the apartment living room.

Flying high on wings of buffalo. What could be better?

So I got this giant bucket of wings. They are so hot my fingers started burning when I touched them. The smell burned my nose.


I dumped them into the giant loading space at the top of the apparatus. Then I sprinkled some kief over the top. Closed the hatch to lock the vaporizer in place and flipped it on.

And the results…

Of putting buffalo wings in our state-of-the-art vaporizer…


Yeah, it broke.


Something with the bones and the sauce. Yeah, the thing is dead. Don’t try this at home. It would appear we flew too close to the sun on wings of buffalo. RIP.

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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