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JERSEY CITY, N.J. — Despite misunderstanding the meaning of the word ‘green,’ Mark Brady has adopted the Green New Deal as his most important personal activist cause.
“It’s a new deal type thing, but for green,” he began explaining. “How could I not get involved in a cause like that, I love green, I smoke green literally every day, and it’s about time someone proposed reform to green initiatives.”
When it was explained the document meant green as in the environment, Brady seemed to still not understand.
“Yeah, cannabis is a plant, the environment, I get it!” he continued, proceeding to misconstrue the meaning of climate change and temperatures rising. “Pretty soon we’re gonna be baking, I get it. I’m into it. Let’s go!”
When pressed for specifics of what he thought the Green New Deal was, Brady was extremely vague, seeming to not even know what his imagined version of it involved.
“Does anyone really know anything about it though?” he clapped back. “I don’t need the details, all I care about is will weed be legal and readily available to me, so as long as that happens, that thing can say whatever it wants.”
Brady later added, “Forget all that, the main reason we should all support it is it is a real-life actual government legal document, and there is a section about cow farts! So it’s automatically my favorite thing that exists!”
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
