Are you of legal age to consume cannabis related news?
The cannabis plant ranked number one in the “Most Dangerous Drug” review published last weekend by the niche monthly rag “Synthetic Cannabinoid Weekly.”
Synthetic cannabis — sometimes known as “Spice” or “K2” — is known to cause seizures and/or overdose symptoms. It can be bought legally at gas stations and head shops due to it being an experimental research chemical that has so far evaded federal prohibition.
The included explanation suggested that since the DEA views synthetic cannabis as legal, it is clearly safer than something that is federally prohibited.
We managed to book an interview with the editor of Synthetic Cannabinoid Weekly, Chuck Manson. “It’s hard logic to argue with,” he said while sparking up a massive bowl of fake weed, causing widespread and potentially irreversible damage to his brain. “The government always knows best,” he said.
When asked why people should trust an unsafe alternative to an otherwise safe and naturally occurring plant, the magazine’s editor responded: “Wait, who are you? How’d I get here?”
Jack Delamater is a musician, business owner, writer, and goofball living in Los Angeles, CA. You can follow Jack on Spotify.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.