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Newlyweds Sam Jafri and Caroline Borowitz announced to family and friends this week that the couple was finally back from the hospital with their beautiful, six-pound and nine-ounce sack of cured cannabis flower.

“This great big bundle of joy spent a solid three weeks in the hospital’s curing room,” Jafri said as she rustled open the top of the bag to take a big, terpy whiff. “We couldn’t be more proud!”

“Six pounds seems like a lot but you have to remember we’re two people — and we’re starting a family now, so we’re going to be even more people down the road,” Borowitz said.

The happy couple warned friends and family that they intend to take things slowly, and are asking everyone but their closest relatives to respectfully hold off on visits until the family has settled in for at least a week or two.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

Click here to learn more.