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AUSTIN, TEXAS — Users have reported discovering a hidden feature in the latest Tesla software update where while hotboxing the car, ‘Annoying Elon’ mode will activate and begin trolling the users.
“I’m just smoking a little with some friends and all of a sudden Elon’s voice shows up telling us we need to repopulate the world before moving to Mars because an asteroid could wipe out all life at any moment,” said Tesla owner Carl Parker. “Then the voice started just saying memes out loud — like at one point, it just said ‘you’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice?’”
Upon further testing, the software was found to time itself to the user’s smoke-session specifics.
“It’s like some AI algorithm knew we were like halfway through the blunt and thus not paying as close attention, and it started just reading off various labelings for the distracted boyfriend meme,” Parker continued. “Once we finished smoking and were high it knew to switched over to deep philosophical commentary where it was like ‘what if green for you is blue for me but we’d never know?’”
Tesla engineers confirmed this software feature was a last-minute addition by Elon himself.
“One day he takes me aside and is like, ‘build something into the car that will have me show up when someone smokes’ with no other specs,” stated engineer Lara Garner. “I didn’t know what that meant so I coded a learning algorithm that studies his Twitter presence and ports it into a disembodied voice in the car… oh also sometimes it takes over and starts driving the car around but mostly just does donuts or takes you to a horse breeding facility.”
Parker later confirmed at the apex of his bakedness, the ‘Annoying Elon’ voice switched over to just laughing at its own jokes for about three hours.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.