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Dune was AWESOME! I loved it. They got everything exactly right. Out of five stars, I give it 420.
Well, at least the first 20 minutes were awesome… then the weed kicked in and I was OUT.
I was trying this thing where every time they mention The Spice I would ‘take The Spice’ (hit the bong). They literally bring it up right away, so by the time Chalamet shows up I was balls-to-the-wall, baked AF.
Back to the movie though, they absolutely nailed it.
Every actor was perfectly cast. T-Chalamet looks exactly how I thought Paul would. Rebecca Ferguson had the confidence and intensity of a Bene Gesserit while retaining the emotional, matriarchal bond with Paul. Jason Momoa was… Jason Momoa… and we love him for it. I would guess the rest were great, but once the weed took effect everything sort of went black.
Cinematography? Every frame could be a work of art I would hang on the wall of the Smithsonian. I could stare at Arrakis for hours on end, and not just because I was so insanely ripped I thought I actually WAS on Dune for a minute there.
All of the people, places, and things looked exactly as I had imagined them while claiming to have read the book. Even down to the those ships that look like fireflies.
There were no massive changes, no obnoxious writer shoving their own thing into it, it was dead-on Herbert’s vision. Or at least his vision in the first like 10 pages of the book. Then I fell asleep for like 63 hours straight because I tried this new edible on an empty stomach.
If the first 20 minutes are any indication, it deserves all the Oscars, all the praise, all the sequels, and all the love and acclaim it is receiving.
I guess all in all my big takeaway from Dune is HOW DO I GET A BONG THAT LOOKS LIKE THE SHAI-HULUD?!
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.