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After observing Mark Logan smoking weed non-stop in his apartment for a week, and comparing him to Sam Carter’s week working in finance, findings point to Logan being the more productive of the two.
Logan built a smoking apparatus out of his coffee table while leaving enough of the table intact for use. He smokes out of a functioning table. It’s an incredible feat of skill for even the most adept carpenters.
Carter manually entered data in a spreadsheet from another spreadsheet because there was no way to copy/paste the data without messing up the formatting, and his supervisor wanted him to use the new template for spreadsheets. Said spreadsheet was then transferred to a storage hard drive that is not even normally hooked up to anything. It sits on a shelf in a storage locker on the 3rd floor of his office building.
Logan watched the cooking channel and made dinner alongside the host. He not only made himself meal prep for the week but then brought some leftovers to a shelter nearby. A virtuous act of kindness and productive activity to benefit his week.
Carter commuted into his office because he is required to appear in-person. Once there, he sat in a conference room alone so he could log into a Zoom meeting with coworkers in various other offices across the globe who were also forced to go into the office to log into a video conference from a meeting room alone. He turned off his camera, muted his mic, and took a nap, as the information being discussed did not even pertain to him.
Logan on the other hand made a bong to look like Baby Yoda and sold it on Etsy.
All in all, the baked dude at home made money, built things, prepared for his future, and performed an act of kindness. Way more productive than the guy in the financial industry working at an office on Park Avenue.
…that being said, finance guy makes 6-figures and has a 401k and health insurance, and basically napped the entire day at the office, so maybe he’s onto something.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.