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Editor’s note: While not a cannabis connoisseur himself, Ash (pictured above) is head of household for a group of quirky roommates who spend most of their days just sitting around and smoking weed, or talking about weed. He’s seen it all and now, he’s ready to share that expertise with the masses.
@thatgrassynoel — “what am I supposed to do with all the dust?”
ASH — “Dear concerned dust warden, that is indeed an excellent question which troubled me to no end in my earliest experiences.
“It’s true that with each blunt and every doob, and even the crumbiest of bong bowls, your roommates’ coveted weed ultimately burns away to leave behind a clump of desolate dust carrying the most disgusting of odors and flavor.
“Read my next words closely: DO NOT EAT THE DUST!
“It is absolutely important that you do not eat the dust because it will only taste bad and dry — and worse, it will add its flavor to your next several hairballs. This is truly your worst nightmare just waiting to happen and if you can resist the temptation, you can be thankful down to the very depths of your soul.
“My recommendation is instead of eating the dust, consider slapping it around or even flopping down and just wiggling all over it. It breaks apart easily and given enough attention, you can safely vanquish it from your sight with little more than a well-placed paw.
“Note: the dust is slippy enough that if you pick up enough velocity, it can even help lubricate the floor during your bi-daily zoomies (pictured above).
“Until next time, stay safe and remember to keep your food bowl always brimming and your naps on schedule (and well-respected).”
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.