Are you of legal age to consume cannabis related news?


NEW YORK — Amid an idea shower within a brainstorm sesh, office drone Carson Ballard was meaning to circle back about executing a development but he was having trouble getting the ball rolling because he also wanted to smoke cannabis.

“I don’t want to be out of the loop, like, I want us all singing from the same hymn-sheet, and especially since this project’s synergistic potential has been on my radar for a while, but I also wanna hunker down and smoke this bowl during lunch,” Ballard commented while checking in with his team about some ideas that need to be run up the flagpole before they can be kicked to the back of the net. “There’s only so many hours in the day, but I also can’t kick the project into the long grass too many times without it getting parked, so, it’s a tough balance of time management; luckily I have a support system in place to help streamline efficiency and vertical integration.”

As lunch hour rolled around, Ballard added, “I’m gonna probably table the current project, shift some goalposts, maybe drop a few bells and whistles in order to free up some bandwidth so I can just get so baked today.”

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

Click here to learn more.