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AKRON, Ohio — While non-consumers generally agree it can be exasperating when someone’s entire personality is centered around smoking cannabis, it was recently discovered that Rachel Parsons, whose entire personality is just hating on those very people, is far worse.
“Get a life guys, there’s more to do and talk about than weed,” stated Parsons for the 97th time in a single morning. “All day every day it’s all they talk about, like, give it a rest already, we get it, you’re so cool because you smoke weed, like, I don’t smoke weed but you don’t see me bringing it up in literally every sentence I speak!” (Editor’s note: she does).
One of the several people Parsons’ ire was directed towards, Jenna Lafferty, commented on the situation, making the case that Parson might be even worse.
“I’ll admit I talk about weed a little excessively, but isn’t it worse that all she talks about is how I talk about weed?” she began. “All day every day it’s all she talks about, like, give it a rest already, we get it, you’re so cool because you hate on people who smoke weed, like, I just smoke weed and though I bring it up in literally every sentence I speak, at least I don’t get mad at other people who don’t!”
A mutual acquaintance, Beth Calloway, commented on both parties stating, “Ugh, they’re both the worst!”
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.