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According to a recent report in Forbes, a nine-year-old and “economic savant” on track to become America’s youngest self-made billionaire recently signaled that now could be the perfect time to go “all-in” on CBD.

Bentley Trae Carmichael, the son of prominent tech entrepreneur Richard Carmichael, first came into the national spotlight at the age of six when his father paid off a journalist to write a story about the young boy’s supposed ‘supernatural’ talent for predicting stock market fluctuations and identifying investment opportunities before they take off. Now, Bentley has apparently set his sights on a new market sector that he predicts will soon take the world by storm: cannabidiol, or CBD, which is a non-intoxicating compound found in cannabis.

“Based on my calculations,” Bentley said in his interview with Forbes, “CBD is about to go mainstream. In a few years, it might even be legal at the federal level. So you better get in on the ground floor now, while the space isn’t too crowded.”

When asked if he had heard about the 2018 Farm Bill, Bentley shook his head and said, “no, my dad says farmers are too stupid to earn dividends.”

In an interview with Oregano, Bentley’s father stated, “a few weeks ago, when Bentley first started talking about how CBD could be turning into a hot commodity, I thought it was kind of weird, because I had been talking to my insider-trading buddies about CBD as a good investment for the past four years. Hell, I’m invested in like ten different brands already, most of them whitelabeled by the same Chinese manufacturer. But hey, if the people over at Forbes think my kid’s onto something, maybe we ought to listen to him?”

When asked whether his son’s talents were real or if he just invented them to get his name in the papers, the elder Carmichael responded, “Couldn’t it be both? I mean, what do you make in a year as a journalist, like forty thousand? How’s about I send you a check for a tidy ten grand and you put ‘Child Genius’ in your headline? That’s gonna look great on his college applications.”

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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