Are you of legal age to consume cannabis related news?
It might be difficult to tell if you’re reliving the same day over and over like in the film Groundhog’s Day, or if that edible you took 30 minutes ago is just now taking effect, so here is a quiz to help you determine.
- Is there an ominous feeling of deja vu, like you’ve seen all of these events before?
- Does this all feel like one long dream?
- Does it seem like you’re actually watching all of this in a movie?
- Can you spell Punxsutawney?
- Have you been doing the same thing every single day for the last 10 years and will likely continue repeating the same routine for the next 15 or until you die?
- Are you hungry?
- No really, can you spell Punxsutawney???
- Are you the lord and savior Muad’Dib?
- Have you died and are now floating above your body?
- Is that Sonny and Cher song stuck in your head?
- I bet it is now that I brought it up.
- One more chance, how do you spell Punxsutawney?
- Did you take an edible 30 minutes ago?
- Are you aware time loops don’t exist?
- Are you actually home, sitting on your couch, watching TV?
If you answered YES to 1-6, 9, 10, and 13, then you’re definitely just high af, it’s the edible you took 30 minutes ago.
If you answered YES to 7, 8, 11, 12, 14, and 15, then the answer is still you’re just super high from that edible 30 minutes ago, you should probably go take a nap.
If you answered NO to any of these you are lying and everyone knows. Trust me. Don’t look, it’ll only make it more obvious. Just act natural.
Also, it might be both or neither, I don’t really know, I’m the one that took that edible and I think I’m talking to myself right now.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.