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HOPKINTON, R.I. — Jim Kenner recently smoked cannabis but had an adverse reaction once high, and in turn decided to address said issues with cannabis use, which only compounded the issue, leading to him addressing it with more cannabis, but the adverse reactions continued so he once again addressed them with even more cannabis.
“I got really antsy and paranoid and anxious, but I’ve heard cannabis is good for anxiety to calm you down so I figured I would smoke to quell the anxiety,” Kenner began explaining while packing another bowl. “But the smoking to ease the anxiety in turn caused its own anxiety, both the standard kind, and also anxiety about how my original anxiety wasn’t being addressed properly by the cannabis.”
“So now that I had triple anxiety, I figured cannabis is good for that, so I smoked again to address the anxiety about the anxiety, as well as the original anxiety and the new anxiety, but that in turn just caused a new new anxiety,” he continued, sparking the bowl he finished packing. “Well naturally, now that I had this hexagram of discomfort,, I figured cannabis was the natural answer and smoked to try to ease the original anxiety, the second smoking’s anxiety, the third smoking’s anxiety, as well as the anxiety about the original anxiety, the anxiety about the second anxiety, the anxiety about the anxiety about the original anxiety, and a new unrelated anxiety caused by the general idea that I’ve smoked a lot at that point.”
“…I was also beginning to get a bit of a headache and stomach ache so I decided to smoke a little for that too,” he spoke while smoking some more. “This is a good idea, right?”
It was not.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.