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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following President Joe Biden’s sudden directive to fire or release White House staffers who previously used cannabis, former President Barack Obama was rejected for re-employment in the Biden White House after his own former cannabis use came to light.

“I figured that, given my experience as President, I could take on some sort of informal advisor role to help Joe and Kamala out with some of the hard decisions,” said Obama. “That’s when they brought up that old photo of me from 40 years ago smoking a spliff, and told me they felt it was ‘disqualifying’ for anyone who wanted to work in the White House. Need I remind them that George W. Bush did cocaine, and he was still elected President? Anyway, Kamala then asked me where I was when I smoked and started looking up the statute of limitations. What the hell, guys?”

Meanwhile, the Biden administration announced that former President Clinton would be given a role in the White House, given that while he had smoked, he never inhaled.

Stephen Bell is a comedy writer for The Hard Times, Oregano, and JumpKick but is more accurately some science dork working as a lab technician. Instagram:

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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