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In a new episode of Black Mirror, main character Sam Stapher is placed inside a massive blunt wrap as a human-sized cannabis plant rolls him up and smokes him.
In Act 1, he is gifted a mysterious cannabis plant by a sketchy man in the flower district. After walking a few feet, he looks back and the man has vanished. Act 1 culminates in Sam watering the plant, which causes it to grow from a tiny potted sprout into a 6-foot tall creature with arms, legs, and opposable thumbs.
Act 2 then sees Stapher waking in a cold sweat, hearing sounds coming from downstairs. He creeps down the stairs, noticing a trail of green scraps along the ground, accompanied by a scraping sound, like someone dragging a flower pot across his parquet floor. Upon flipping on the lights, a giant green hand envelops his torso, lifts him in the air, then slams him on the ground on a massive sheet of cigar rolling paper.
He is rolled back and forth, twisting and contorting to break free, but the paper rises on either side of his body rendering him immobile. What little light was grazing the room slowly disappeared as the rolling paper sailed over and around his body until he was fully sealed inside, arms locked at his side, feet and hair poking out of either end of the human-blunt.
In an effort to avoid spoilers, let’s just say the Act 3 climax ends on a high note. But we’re left with the question of, was this all a fever dream weed nightmare, or has cannabis become sentient and is seeking revenge? And what does a giant sentient weed plant do after smoking a human blunt? Watch plant porn and order fertilizer on Seamless?
Watch the Black Mirror episode ‘Yes We Cannabis,’ streaming on Netflix now.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.