Are you of legal age to consume cannabis related news?
We’ve all heard of the Mandela Effect: it’s when people collectively remember distinct details about history that simply aren’t true. Stemming from the widely held, incorrect belief that Nelson Mandela died in prison in the 80s, it can happen when a majority agrees that something that didn’t happen actually did. Or, like in our case, when we got really high last week and couldn’t remember a damn thing afterwards.
My fiancé and I arrived at last Thursday’s monthly game night hosted by our friends Ryan and Jessica at around 6 p.m. This afforded us a one hour pre-game to partake in our favorite performance enhancing agents — those of the cannabinoid variety. At approximately 6:28 p.m., we were all properly blitzed, and ready to dive into our game of the night.
But by 7:15 our scheduled game of Monopoly hadn’t started, and as we scrolled through conspiracy theories on TikTok, it became very obvious that we were dropping down a terpene-induced rabbit hole. Inspired by the vids, Jessica suggested we conduct a little experiment: “How about we do some dabs, and see if we all remember things the same way?” A new game had commenced.
We each took two hits — the kind of hits where your ears ring and you become very aware of your pelvic floor, and thank the stars you peed beforehand. Mutually stoned, we sat across one another at the kitchen table. Jessica, who at this point seemed almost like a puppet master, appointed herself the MC.
The first question she asked was, “Did Mickey Mouse wear suspenders?”
The three of them — Ryan, Jessica, and my fiancé — voted no, while I voted yes. And to then see a picture of Mickey Mouse, I couldn’t believe it myself: the very vivid memory I had of Steamboat Willie running his gloved thumbs up and down his suspenders as he whistled a sailor’s tune was a figment of my imagination.
The very first question had me questioning the fabric of reality. I was also as baked as a Christmas ham.
She proceeded. “True or False? Comedian Sinbad once starred as a genie in the kids movie ‘Shazam.’”
My fiancé and I voted no (we had in fact just had this conversation last week while chiefing a very pregnant joint). Jessica and Ryan both voted yes, though Ryan later backpedaled, claiming he’d mistaken it for “Kazaam,” a movie he was sure starred James Earl Jones — who, ironically, is the subject of another well-known Mandela Effect involving Star Trek. I think.
By now it was 8:30, and we were only on the third question. The dabs were wearing off, but the vape was in constant rotation; the munchies were setting in, and one yawn beget another.
“It’s a good thing we didn’t play Monopoly,” my fiancé joked, “otherwise we’d be up for hours.” And then, Jessica’s eyes widened, and you could see the gears turning in her mind as she calculated the perfect question to stump all of us.
“Does the Monopoly guy wear a monocle?”
We voted, and all of us agreed: the Monopoly guy had a monocle. Adamant that the iconic character was clad in a top hat and monocle, Ryan rushed to his game collection to confirm… and turned around with a look of disbelief. There was no monocle. There never was.
At least that’s what I think happened. I was really high, so don’t quote me. I thought Mickey Mouse wore fucking suspenders.
Ashley Ruark is a stand-up comedian, musician, and writer from Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.