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DK Mode, or ‘Big Head Mode’ is a cheat mode in the seminal Nintendo 64 game GoldenEye 007 where the characters’ proportions are changed to give them giant heads… and legend has it, one can activate this cheat code in real life by getting super, super baked.

Before testing this theory, preparations were made accordingly. Several precautions were put in place, such as wearing loose clothing and avoiding smoking in a room with dimensions not conducive to a giant head. That was about it.

Next, I made a plan of where to go and who to speak to. I had to ensure I wouldn’t encounter anyone that might lie about their giant head or get frightened by mine. I also set up a camera so there would be video evidence of my giant head. 

Finally, it was time to test the theory. I had called over some friends to partake in the experiment, but they were unfamiliar with ‘Big Head Mode’ so we first had to play GoldenEye so they would understand. Unfortunately, I didn’t have an N64 at my place, so we tried to order one. 

N64 is no longer available in stores, and GoldenEye is not available for virtual console due to licensing issues, so we had to take to the internet to track one down. I found a used games dealer that had a green translucent console and a loose game cartridge for $400. 

Worth it. 

Two weeks later, we reconvened to play. Unfortunately, we got so distracted playing GoldenEye, we forgot about the experiment and ended up just having a pleasant smoke and gaming session.

Unfortunately, no confirmation yet on whether smoking activates ‘Big Head Mode’ IRL, but my research has confirmed GoldenEye does NOT hold up — the controls were awful, the graphics were antiquated, and the controller cords are tiny so you have to sit super close to the TV. Not to mention the console stopped working after like 5 minutes!

Conclusion: more research needed. Updates to follow.

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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