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OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local preroll connoisseur and environmentalist Veronica Silkman has been expanding her fight for a cleaner world with a new collection of homemade kazoos, created exclusively from used pre-roll tubes found in the streets and gutters of Olympia.
Silkman first realized that pre-roll tubes make decent homemade kazoos when she blew into one, trying to release her joint from it. “There I am, just trying to get the pre-roll I paid for, and then, holy shit — I was transported to the musical wonderland of my childhood,” Silkman said. “These things are so wasteful. I’m thrilled that there’s any reuse for them at all.”
After a few modifications to the tube thanks to a rubber band, a pen cap and some used kitchen plastic wrap, Silkman’s pre-roll kazoo is complete and fully tunable. “I know it seems far-fetched, but it really sounds good,” she said. “Like, you think you know what a kazoo sounds like or whatever, but these open up a whole new world of bleating into plastic. The fact that I could recall those great memories from childhood while also saving the planet while also smoking weed and feeling good, I just couldn’t believe it was all possible.”
Looking around Silkman’s modest apartment, one can see she’s very committed to being environmentally conscious, and the kazoos are just a small step in that direction — cloth towels replace paper towels, a bidet replaces toilet paper, and old newspaper lines the bottom of her 8-foot iguana cage, which sits below a poster reading, “I like my weed like I like my planet: GREEN.”
“The planet is just so important, and so is music and creativity,” said Silkman, unpackaging another pre-roll. “I don’t know if it was because I was high or that it’s simply a good idea, but let me tell you: I think these homemade kazoos are really going to take off,” she added before launching into her rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
Indeed, Silkman’s work has captured the hearts of her neighbors — even those sensitive to the noise. “I mean, I got behind her reusing old socks as coffee filters, and glass shards with hot glue handles as kitchen knives, but those weren’t really affecting me. Once she got into reusing things as instruments, though, it was just 24/7 with the kazooing,” duplex neighbor Rex Johnson said. “But I sort of see where she’s coming from. I hate the noise of those things, but I appreciate her trying to affect climate change. Even if we’re all doomed, I know I can hear ‘Star Spangled Banner’ just like it was meant to be heard: hummed off-key with good intentions through discarded plastic.”
Thanks to pioneers like Silkman, the planet can breathe a sigh of relief through the songs of its future… played through pre-roll tube kazoos.
Joe Rapp is an improviser, graphic designer and unknown local celebrity in Minneapolis, MN. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter @fakejoerapp
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.