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Amid a growing mental health crisis that was only exacerbated by a historic global health crisis, many adults have turned to cannabis in recent years to ease their depressive symptoms.
A pot plant agreed to be interviewed by our team.
“It’s just been so tough,” the plant sighed, drooping a couple of giant, stinky buds towards the ground. “I’ve always considered myself a healer but recently I’ve been overextending myself to too many people, and it’s really taking a toll on me.”
Mr. Plant looked to the ground.
“I just feel taken advantage of — every time I open up to someone, they either immediately smoke me or decarboxylate me in an oven before baking me into an edible.”
“To be honest, it’s pretty exhausting. I’ve even been taking up a weed habit of my own.”
After the interview, the cannabis plant was swiftly charged and booked at the local county jail for confessing to cannibalism.
Jack Delamater is a musician, business owner, writer, and goofball living in Los Angeles, CA — follow Jack on Spotify.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.