Mainstream CEO Aims to Legitimize Cannabis Industry by Virtue of His Existence

A former tech startup founder and self-styled “Venture Capital Renaissance Man” has emerged as the latest champion for the fledgling cannabis industry. 

Chad Bogart III, a serial entrepreneur, has announced that he is making himself available to serve on the board of any non-plant-touching business in the cannabis industry. Most well-known for creating the dog walking app Poopski, Bogart was also featured in a 2019 TED Talk, “How to Do Nothing And Achieve Everything.”

“Look, I’m a pretty cool guy. I smoked hemp before it was legal, so I know a thing or two about that… “

Just the guy to lead the industry.

In an exclusive interview with Oregano, Bogart stated, “I don’t care if some of my LinkedIn connections disapprove of the path I’ve taken. I’m doing this to help the cause by providing some badly-needed leadership to the cannabis space, while getting in on the ground floor of the greatest financial opportunity of the millennium.”

When asked why cannabis companies might want him on their board of directors despite the fact that he doesn’t have any experience related to cannabis, he said, “Look, I’m a pretty cool guy. I smoked hemp before it was legal, so I know a thing or two about that. To top it off, I come from a more legitimate industry, so I think it’s fair to say that my presence alone could be a real boon to the cannabis movement.”

To date, zero cannabis companies have taken Bogart up on his offer.

End // Email me more of these pls.

DISCLAIMER: the article above is a joke.

You know what's not a joke? While a select few in the legal cannabis industry build intergenerational wealth, there are still THOUSANDS of people locked up in prisons around the country for nonviolent cannabis-related charges. is a cannabis-focused satire outlet created by industry insiders who want to highlight the absurdity of keeping people locked up for weed in a world where it has been legalized. 100% of the profits from Oregano's merch sales will be donated to The Last Prisoner Project, an organization fighting to achieve restorative justice for victims of the Drug War.

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