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LITTLE NECK, N.Y. — Perseus Racey, the youngest grandson of WWII veteran Cyril Heracuse, held a four-star general-sized toke this morning for the duration of the traditional moment of silence honoring those who gave their lives for our freedoms before today’s Little Neck-Douglaston Memorial Day Parade.
“I stuffed as much weed as I could into my one hitter and sucked it back right as they announced the moment of silence,” said the 29-year-old Racey as he re-strapped his sandals. “I spent the time thinking about how the smoke and fire of war would have burned my grandpa’s throat and lungs just like mine were burning now… only if he exhaled or coughed, Charlie would have been on him in no time, leaving him gutted in the jungles of Normandy. I held it in, and I made him proud.”
The following parade saw Racey, believing he had fully paid tribute to his late grandfather and fellow fallen heroes through his “dedicated” toke, marching down Main St. among nearly 10,000 participants, repeatedly reminding the crowd that “this is fuckin’ wild, man!”
Kyle Stanley’s grandfather Ronald served in WWII in the Royal Canadian Navy, enriching himself by smuggling steaks and butter from Londonderry back to Halifax. Twitter: @KGordonStanley
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.