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NEW YORK — Marcus Sadler was undecided about how to support Pride as going to the parade would involve being around people and having to walk around, and get dressed, and in general cut into his sitting-around-in-pajamas-alone-smoking time.
“If they could move the Pride Parade into my living room and have it last like 5 minutes, then I’d be down,” he began. “But if I have to leave this apartment? And get dressed? And then there’s gonna be people there who might actually want to engage and talk to me? I’m out!”
“Where do they go to the bathroom along the parade?” he continued. “Yeah, that’s a hard pass from me.”
Community organizer Matt Rafka expressed empathy for the idea, recognizing parades are truly the worst.
“It’s an important cause so we all go anyway, but trust me, I get it, parades are awful,” he commented. “Who wants to be walking around all day in that heat in a crowd, it’s brutal. Maybe there’s a way to do a hologram parade from my living room; someone call Zuckerberg, that’s something…”
In an attempt to indulge Sadler, the Pride Parade was eventually moved to his living room, at which point he moved to his bedroom to get away from it as it was still awful.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.