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LOS ANGELES — Specialty Kosher dispensary The Chosen Buds announced today their latest seasonal offerings, featuring a slate of Jewish-themed edibles for their “High Holidays” sale that includes a “Marijuionion” bagel and a cannabis-infused cream cheese.

“Offering kosher edibles specifically for the High Holidays just makes sense for us,” said dispensary owner Jacob Zucker. “We like to accommodate those in the Jewish community who partake in cannabis consumption, so we’ve got options to cover all bases from celebrating Rosh Hashanah to breaking fast after Yom Kippur.”

“Any order around this time also comes with a disclaimer warning customers not to smoke before Yom Kippur begins,” Zucker added. “That rookie mistake has been made several times. Fighting the munchies during the fast is a recipe for disaster.”

The special menu of kosher edibles includes “Pot-zah ball soup” made with cannabis-infused schmaltz, Sour Diesel pickles, and a smoked sativa lox, while limited run strains include Kush Hashanah, Cannischewitz Cough, Bubbie Kush, and Next Year in Yerusha-high-yim. 

Unfortunately, they are sold out of their “CBDeliver us from Egypt” salves, but hope to be back in stock in time for Hanukkah.

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

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