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SADDLE RIVER, N.J. — Despite stowing extra weed in case of an emergency situation, Beth Rawlins almost immediately smoked said cannabis.

“I had this baggy tucked in a drawer for in case there is a shortage of cannabis in the world, or I don’t feel like going out or I don’t feel like ordering more, or whatever other situations could possibly arise,” Rawlins began explaining. “But then an emergency Monday morning situation arose where it was Monday morning and I wanted to smoke weed; desperate times call for desperate measures.”

Cannabis researcher Pete Carr has confirmed the Rawlins situation is quite common.

“Oh we see this all the time, they hide a stash so they have extra, then immediately just smoke it,” he said. “It makes sense though, unless you store the weed properly it won’t last anyway… though on the other hand, there’s no telling just how long weed can last when not stowed properly because all the tests we ran we ended up smoking the weed before it went bad, so this is mostly conjecture I suppose.”

Later that day Rawlins was seen digging up her other rainy day stash she’d forgotten about to smoke as well because it was an ‘emergency Monday afternoon situation,’ as she put it… she also confirmed she has another rainy day stash for in case she smokes the first two but can’t remember where it is anymore.

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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