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BROOKLYN – What started as a normal day for Edmund F. Gerald, driver for the Fuzzy Maple Leaf cannabis shop, soon became one of the most memorable days of his life as he received a side-splittingly funny $4.20 tip for the delivery of $500 worth of cannabis flower, edibles and accessories.
“Our customers are often generous with tips but this one seemed to be more interested in splitting my sides rather than my pockets,” said Gerald as he paid $6.99 for a drive-thru kid’s value meal. “I needed that laugh, you know? I’m doing 44 hours a week at this job, 16 hours at Trader Joe’s and the patrons there aren’t exactly Don Rickles. The last tip I got at Trader Joe’s was a pamphlet warning me about the dangers of 5G.”
Surprisingly, the joke-slinging cannabis customer isn’t a professional comedian at all – she’s a high-priced trial lawyer.
“My job is so stressful that cannabis itself won’t calm me down unless I’ve had a good belly laugh as well,” said Tabi Inani of the Bilkem & Hyde law firm. “I almost gave the guy one of the hundreds I found in my summer Crocs, but then this gut-busting idea hit me and I was scrambling all over the place to find two dimes. Luckily for me, the maid forgot to take her tip last week.”
Deliver driver Gerald says he was still smiling about the gag as he applied for a third job at the Home Depot thirty miles away.
Kyle Stanley don’t tip. He don’t believe in it. @KGordonStanley on Twitter.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.