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CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — High school senior Mark Chipple turned skeptical upon being offered a full ride to university for cannabis studies.
“It feels very suspicious. Like, this has to be a trick. Are they cops?” Chipple commented, squinting and studying his surroundings then searching his bedroom for recording devices. “If they’re trying to entrap me they have to tell me, it’s the law… right?”
“I mean, it looks legitimate, but that doesn’t mean anything,” Chipple continued explaining while patting himself down for a wire. “I asked them if they were the cops and they said no… but that’s exactly what a cop would say if they were pretending to not be a cop, so, inconclusive.”
The scholarship in question to learn to cultivate, maintain, and process the plant and its related products was sponsored by small cannabis company Green Life.
“We wanted young people to learn the proper procedures in the industry, but quickly realized offering such a service came off extremely suspicious, so we then tried reminding them we aren’t the cops, which only seemed more suspicious,” added Green Life CEO Dana Furman. “We have this $12 million grant and no one will take it!”
Though it came off suspicious at first, Green Life eventually found a way of convincing prospective students they were not the cops by replacing the scholarship offer letter with a handwritten note that just read “You good?”
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.