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RENO, Nevada — Burning Man attendee Matt Sanders’ mother, while not thrilled about the activities taking place at the festival, was just glad her son was out playing with friends and speaking to people for a change.
“He seems like such a loner all the time, very antisocial, so seeing him head out to the desert with fellow humans is a nice change of pace,” she began explaining. “I’m compartmentalizing the idea that they are going there to imbibe in illicit substances and potentially have unsafe intimate experiences; one of my abilities as a mother is ignoring that aspect of his itinerary and focusing on the positive!”
“…besides, getting him out of the house outweighs the unsavory components of the trip! Now if only he could meet a fellow ‘burner’ that could get him a job.”
Sanders has commented on his mother’s attitude, glad that she has found enjoyment in his trip to Burning Man.
“I tend to feel a little guilty that my mom gets super stressed every time I trip my face off,” Sanders stated while making a portobello burger but replacing the portobello mushroom with a handful of hallucinogenic mushrooms. “She gets so irrationally uptight about this stuff as if I’m going off into the desert to take unspecified substances from strangers— wait OK, yeah I get it now… well at least she’s made peace with it!”
At the conclusion of the festival, Sanders’ mother was just glad he made some new friends, ignoring the fact that said ‘new friends’ will now be living in her house for an indeterminate amount of time.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.