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WESTON, Ontario — Cannabis user Mike Donaldson tried yet again yesterday to light his glass pipe with his mouth on the bowl, fully inhaling the ground flower and hot butane before coughing and cursing himself repeatedly. “Man, that was the fifth time I did that this week, and the second time in the past two hours. I just get excited, you know?” said Donaldson, trying to maintain hope while downing a pint of water. “I put my thumb on the choke and lift it up to my face so fast I don’t even think about it… next thing I know, I have $2 worth of Pink Bubba Gump and a bunch of fumes caught in my throat and everyone is laughing at me.” Friends and family members who have encouraged Donaldson to think about switching to joints or water pipes report that he is, in fact, thinking about it.   

Kyle Stanley lays pipe on Twitter @KGordonStanley

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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