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I love Lego. They’re the best. So I thought Legoland would be a super fun vacation. Then I started building in a feverish fury and before I knew it I had trapped myself inside a prison of my own design like some ancient Greek myth or something.
I was building walls. I don’t know why, I was super baked and wanted to just keep building walls. Then I built hinges and more walls, then once more, and suddenly I was trapped inside four giant, impenetrable Lego walls.
I’d been searching for escape for about 6 hours. I even called for a clue in case I was actually in an escape room I forgot I entered. I tried breaking through the bricks but they were too powerful. Or maybe I was too weak. I tend to get very winded and tired from smoking.
The walls were also too high, or at least they seemed too high, it’s hard to tell, there’s a chance I was actually just sitting on the ground.
Hunger set in along with panic. I began to sweat. But eventually, I gave up and accepted the Lego prison as my new home; my forever home. Goonight. And good luck.
Oh dammit, I forgot to build a stash for the weed! What if the cops show up?
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.