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So I’m having a pretty big crisis right now. I got together with some old friends from Humboldt last weekend and they whipped out the BIGGEST batch of homemade ice hash I’ve ever seen.

Needless to say, we got reeeaaally toasted over the next couple of days. We put the hash in our joints, we put the hash in our blunts, and we sprinkled the hash over so many bong bowls — we dabbed the hash, and we vaped the hash. We even put the hash in our hashbrowns! (Not recommended).

It really was the best weekend I’ve had in a long, long time — but all good things must come to an end.

Jump-forward to the next day: I go visit the dispensary, pick out some super grand-smelling Granddaddy Purp, bring it home and load the bong, and … nothing! The label says it tests at 24% and it’s supposed to be a “relaxing and euphoric” type of high but right now all I’m feeling is that we really need to replace the springs on this couch. And paint the ceiling, and finally change that burnt-out lightbulb. And sweep the floors. Maybe vacuum, dust the shelves, clean the bong, clean the cat… aww shit, maybe I am stoned?

Nahhh, just a little bit. I mean come on — it still smells and tastes amazing, but where’d my high go?! Am I now a hash-only smoker?! Or maybe the local dispo swapped to CBD flower when I wasn’t looking?

Fuck, do I really need to take a tolerance break right before Burning Man?!

Graham is a cannabis writer & editor living in Portland, Oregon. He probably wouldn’t eat any of your fruit but that’s not your fault, he has allergies.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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