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GULFPORT, MISSISSIPPI — Longtime buddies and Gulfport High class of 2006 alumni Johnathan Peel, Vicki Sanders, and Luis Roberto have been smoking weed together since that one time in detention with the thing and the stuff.

But while Sanders and Roberto have developed perfectly normal and relatable smoking habits over the years (like sneaking a J in the alley before going to see a movie, or power yodeling through your post-bong-rip exhale — you know, just really normal stuff) good old Johnny P still does this weird fucking thing where he has to say grace every time before lighting up.

Literally, every time.

“My gran-gran always said we say grace before consuming because it helps to put us in God’s presence on a more regular basis,” Peel said matter-of-factly during our interview before leaning close and whispering: “Also, I’m pretty sure the Lord takes it super seriously because the one time I forgot to say anything, I inhaled the roach and my mom had to take me to the ER for a scorched esophagus.”

Sanders and Roberto said they both agreed a long time ago that while it was weird, it was worth humoring Peel and his eccentricities because somehow he always finds the best shit to smoke.

“Maybe he’s just blessed?” Sanders mused.

Graham is a cannabis writer & editor living in Portland, Oregon. He probably wouldn’t eat any of your fruit but that’s not your fault, he has allergies.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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