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LOS ANGELES — Sales associate at “Green Town” dispensary Ben Sadler has expressed dismay at being asked, again, what the ‘Four-Loko of Weed’ is by various customers.
“We’re near a college campus, so I get it, but still, it’s pretty excessive,” Sadler began explaining while relabeling the lowest quality product in the store as ‘Four-Loko of Weed’ for future ease of transaction. “I kept trying to sell them this new edible we have that has traces of caffeine, thinking it would have similar effects to Four-Loko, but I don’t think they really understand what they’re asking.”
One of the potential customers in question, Brett Harland, has been searching for the product since arriving on the nearby campus.
“I don’t know man, it’s Friday at like 9 PM, I’m tryna bro-down, ya know?” Harland stated while ordering a case of ‘Four-Loko Classic’ on Amazon. “I need that Loko fix. I keep asking what the weed equivalent would be and they keep selling me this expensive designer weed, ‘Caffeine-Kush’ or whatever. Get that trash outta here, I want the good stuff!”
While Harland’s statements made no sense, Sadler eventually started selling him stems and seeds, telling him it was a special new strain; Harland loved the product and gave Green Town a 5-star review.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
