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LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Buffalo Wild Weeds budtender Casey Gordon cornered herself off at the start of her shift this morning, staring into the distance before telling her new trainee how busy the dispensary will get next week on 4/20.

“I got called into my boss’ office and saw her looking out the window with her eyes in this cold gaze. She did that thing where you lick the tip of your finger and hold it out to see which way the wind is blowing before asking me if I was ‘ready’ for how slammed it’ll get for the holiday,” said trainee Jonah Grizzard. “I guess my answer of ‘yeah’ wasn’t good enough, because she then asked if I knew what ‘real pain’ is. And when she sighed… ever hear someone crying while they’re throwing up? It was like that, but without the puking part. Almost like ET, but the part of the movie where he’s really sick.”

Provided he survives the onslaught of customers next week, Grizzard plans to keep the job, noting that Gordon is otherwise “pretty chill when not preparing for apocalyptic war.”

Michael Tannenbaum is a writer and actor. You can find him on Twitter: @iamTannenbaum

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

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