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LOS ANGELES — Lance Trazzer, upon entering his local dispensary, has inquired as to which strain Vince Chase and company would have smoked, as that is the strain he obviously must smoke as well.
“I can’t tell the difference between the different strains anyway, so my main requirement is brand recognition,” Trazzer explained while ordering ‘Bro-tein Shakes’ from Amazon. “If I could figure out what someone like Brad Pitt smokes I might be convinced to go that direction, but generally whatever Vinny and the boys do, that’s what I do… You get it.”
Continuing his quest to figure out what Vince smoked, Trazzer eventually tracked down Doug Ellen, creator and head writer of the HBO series, to investigate further.
“He was asking what Vince smokes, so I just started making stuff up,” Ellen revealed while lining up his several Emmys. “I started saying things like Drama-Dro, Turtle Hills, E-Kush, and Hot-Barista-Vince-Once-Smashed-While-Waiting-For-His-Order-Across-The-Street-From-In-N-Out Haze.”
Though Trazzer claimed to have asked his local budtender what he should buy, it was later revealed by the staff at the dispensary he failed to inquire in an intelligible manner, rather entering and simply shouting in the Jane’s Addiction voice, “OH YEAAAAAAH!” and thus they were unable to help him.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.