Are you of legal age to consume cannabis related news?


BUFFALO — Father of two Gen-Z kids Daniel Hatch has become convinced the term cheugy is a secret code for smoking cannabis.

“They keep saying that word every time I walk in the room,” Hatch began explaining while repositioning the waistband on his extremely out-of-style beige cargo shorts. “I just know it’s a cipher, why else would they look at me and immediately say that word so much? Those kids are up to something involving the marijuanas [sic] and I am gonna find out one of these days.”

Hatch’s eldest son, Marcus continually tries to assure him they are not using cannabis but to no avail.

“I told him it has nothing to do with weed… me and my friends only do pills,” Marcus commented. “He just thinks everything is weed stuff though. He thinks finna and bussy are codewords for smoking also. If I wanted to smoke weed I would just put it in my vape and do it right in front of him, we don’t need a code word, he already doesn’t know what a Juul is.”

When Hatch was eventually informed cheugy is actually a pejorative term for out-of-style and unhip older generations he scoffed, stating, “There’s no way that’s what they mean, I’m extremely hip… you can tell because they constantly compliment me by saying OK, Boomer! So there. Checkmate.”

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

Click here to learn more.