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LOS ANGELES — Last week, after using up all but a droplet of your stash of weed tincture, your roommate attempted to refill it with water so you wouldn’t notice. 

“It’s already got water anyway, so it’s not even really diluted,” your roommate began explaining. “It’s the same, just a little lighter color. Just try it, trust me, it’s fine. It’s basically the same. You won’t even notice the difference.”

The roommate in question quickly left the home so as not to be held accountable further, trailing off down the hallway saying, “Oh, I had something to do today, but feel free to replace that if you really don’t like it. I fixed it, but if you’re still not happy that’s on you.”

Experts and users alike unanimously agreed it was not ‘fine’.

Upon further testing, cannabologist Dr. Carmine Salz found it was so diluted as to be completely ineffective.

“It doesn’t work,” Dr. Salz stated. “People try it with soap, CBD oil, basically any liquid product, and it never works. Do they not get that you’re adding the non-drug ingredient so it makes it less potent? No one can be that oblivious, right? Right?”

Upon reporting on the subject, your roommate added an additional comment, saying, “Bro, why’d you tell him?! Wtf!”

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

Click here to learn more.