LAS VEGAS — In a violation of corporate policy, a Del Taco manager in Las Vegas opted not to remove the restaurant’s diaper changing station last week after realizing how frequently customers and staff alike used it to roll blunts. “The order came in, but I just couldn’t do it. Honestly, I never used to even clean these things, but now that I know they’re perfect for rolling blunts, I keep them pristine,” said shift leader Ricky Brewer. “After all, it was from rolling blunts that I learned how to properly swaddle a baby, so I figured why not keep it clean for everyone?” At one point, Brewer briefly considered attaching a Bluetooth speaker to the station to help “set a chill vibe,” but wanted to discourage patrons from lounging and preparing harder drugs. He explained, “anytime we make it through a day without a tweaker trying to rip it off the wall, we consider that a success.”

Johnny Sparkles is a Hawaii-born and based journalist, and stand up comedian whose debut album “Homeless Romantic” is available all over the internet. Twitter: @sparklesknows