DURHAM, N.C. — Beaming with pride as one single tear slowly dripped down his face, proud dad Bob Finley discovered yesterday the expertly crafted smoking apparatus his son Joshua built, boasting about his unexpected ingenuity, architectural expertise, and attention to detail. “The intricacies of the construction, the placement of each piece, the way the cut snakes through the grain of the original watering can — it’s glorious. I’ve never been more proud of my boy,” he told anyone who would listen while running his finger along the watering can’s neck to highlight it’s smooth, flawless corners and connections. “Sure, it’s a garden accessory and some tin foil, but you can tell, he’s got the gift. Now if we could just harness this ability and repurpose it towards restoring this ‘69 Camaro SS with me…” Finley added before drifting off. Sources say the elder Finley then took a massive rip before softly singing “Cat’s in the Cradle” to himself, while his son grabbed a fresh watering can so he could smoke in peace.

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.