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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Typically, wedding photos are all about the blushing bride, but today, bridesmaid Tatum Mayflower’s cheeks are rosy with regret as she realized that her 35% THC Wedding Cake weed pen was peeking out of her décolletage in every single wedding photo.
“I was really feeling the pressure to not commit any wedding photo faux pas, so I pinned my bra straps, checked my wrists for hair ties, and then I took a gnarly rip from my festive vape to take the edge off,” said the 33-year-old Mayflower, who managed to include her weed pen in photos taken from the altar, to the bouquet toss, to the buffet line. “Hopefully there are a few pictures in there somewhere that don’t look as obvious, but honestly, this is exactly why all bridesmaid dresses should come with at least some form of a pocket.”
Mayflower has since told the couple she “knows of an amazing photoshop app.”
Ashley Ruark is a stand-up comedian, musician, and writer from Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.