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LEWES, De. — Local divorced mother and cannabis advocate Janice Gillette recently began dating a man named Bubba Kush, which to the confusion of many is coincidentally also the name of her favorite strain of weed.
“I like ‘em fat and covered in red hair,” she declared, without elaborating whether she was discussing the buds she smokes or the man she loves. “And if they’ve got a musk more potent than blue cheese, then honey, we can have ourselves a wild night. I’m gonna have to towel the door so my kids don’t know what I’m up to.”
“I get that my mom is dating and smoking weed, and I honestly don’t have a problem with either,” claimed Gillette’s eldest son Taylor, “but the name thing gets super confusing. Yesterday I thought she asked me if I wanted to smoke Bubba Kush out of a big bong, but what she really asked was if I ‘wanted Bubba Kush to smoke me in ping pong.’ So instead of getting high, this middle-aged ginger made me his bitch in table tennis for a full afternoon. It was humiliating.”
Unfortunately for Taylor, his conflicted feelings will likely only deepen when he meets Bubba’s daughter and his potential stepsister, Kandi Kush.
Tyler Dark is a stand-up comedian and writer from Maryland’s Eastern Shore.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.