Are you of legal age to consume cannabis related news?
HILLIARD, Ohio — Local mother Victoria Karle was excited at the prospect of waking up to some freshly baked goods after hearing her son’s plan to “wake and bake” this Mother’s Day.
“I feel bad about eavesdropping on his conversation, but when I heard him say he planned to ‘wake and bake’ let’s just say I felt very loved. He’s never put this much effort into Mother’s Day before,” said Karle. “I didn’t even know he was interested in baking. He must have picked it up while he was away at college.”
The mystery deepened for Victoria as she tried to decipher what her son might make.
“I overheard him talking about rolling something so I thought cinnamon rolls. But then I heard him mention ‘smoking’ something which doesn’t go with cinnamon rolls. That’s when it hit me, croissants topped with smoked gouda cheese! Oh, what a talented son I have.”
Evan Karle was completely unaware of how close he was to disappointing his mother.
“Yeah I figured visiting for Mother’s Day was a good idea. Normally we go out to brunch or something so I wanted to be ready to stuff my face with scrambled eggs and rum balls,” said the oblivious son. “I wonder if mom suspects something though because she keeps smiling at me and said that she expects to be ‘awakened to some good smells’ tomorrow morning. Is my mom trying to burn one down with me? Because I might need to buy more weed.”
Victoria’s excitement for anything her son baked reportedly dimmed after later hearing him mention something about a roach being dropped.
“Idk what he planned to make but whatever it is it’s clearly going to be gross. So I’ve lost my appetite. Though it seems he gained his so let’s just go to brunch like normal.”
Stephen Bell is a comedy writer for The Hard Times, Oregano, and JumpKick but is more accurately some science dork working as a lab technician. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stebbenwolfe/
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.