Choosing the Perfect Cannabis Pun For Your Email, For Beginners

So, you’ve taken the plunge and decided to find a career in cannabis. You subscribed to all the business magazines, changed your LinkedIn picture to one of you posing with plants, and you have enrolled in an online hydroponic home growing course as well as a budtender education series.

As you begin your search for a cannabis industry gig, you’ll need to do a lot of networking and digital correspondence. To let everyone know that you’re not one of those white-collar stiffs seeking gainful employment, but a chilled-out soul with good vibes, an effective tool in your arsenal should be the punny email sign-off.

It’s a fact. Every important player in cannabis uses puns in their emails, bearing them like badges of honor earned in the battle trenches of Prohibition: it’s like a callback to exhaling bong rips through a sploof–or fashioning beer can pipes in times of scarcity–long before the terms “pre-roll” and “rosin” even existed.

Some of the most popular email sign-offs among elite industry veterans include:

  • “Danks” 
  • “Happy daze”
  • “THC-you-later”
  • “Flower to the people”
  • “Stay elevated / lifted / lit / green / icky / etc.”

However, everyone knows that cannabis industry folks are among the busiest people in the world, so including your pun in the email signature may not be enough to get their attention. To boost your chances of being remembered, it might be better to double-up. Here are some prime one-liners that are guaranteed to impress:

  • “High there”
  • “To be blunt”
  • “I’m looking for a kushy gig”
  • “I know this is a budding industry”
  • “I’m ready to smoke the competition”
  • “… Dude, where’s my job offer?”

Amazing, right? You’re welcome. Any of these quips will help clue in your audience to the fact that you are most definitely not a poser.

Now, go out there and blaze your trail.

End // Email me more of these pls.

Yes, this article is a joke. You know what’s not a joke?

  • 44,000 Americans are still in prison for nonviolent cannabis offenses.
  • Many of them are elderly or have underlying conditions that make them especially vulnerable to Covid-19.
  • Experts warn that our overcrowded prisons will accelerate the spread of the virus.
  • Some jurisdictions are already releasing people, but more action is needed and time is running out.

If the government does not step in to reduce the prison populations immediately, the virus will spread and people will die.

Please sign the petition to tell the federal government that NOW is the time to reduce prison populations:

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