LOS ANGELES — After scathing public controversy surrounding his new cannabis strain dubbed “Napalm,” rapper Xzibit announced today that he will compromise by agreeing to rename the product “Apache Helicopter.” 

“I still don’t see what all the fuss is about,” claimed X-to-the-Z, whose three-year stint on MTV’s “Pimp My Ride” did not prepare him to confront public uproar. “It’s just a reference to my one album, which happens to be a reference to chemical weapons employed by the United States against people from Vietnam and Japan. That’s how I name all my albums! Where do you think the title ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’ came from? At least this new name won’t denigrate people trampled by American imperialism, and I’ll never have to hear about it again.” 

According to industry sources, Xzibit’s re-release of the newly named “Apache Helicopter” will be celebrated by a companion album to be titled “Apache Helicopter.”

Tyler Dark is a stand-up comedian and writer from Maryland’s Eastern Shore.