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Eeyore, a key character from the popular children’s novel and cartoon series “Winnie the Pooh,” announced he will be launching a line of cannabis products specializing in strains for treating chronic depression.
“The second I tried Pooh’s honey wax, I felt a blanket of darkness lift off of me for the first time since my early childhood,” Eeyore reported. “I never really realized how depressed I was back then.”
Though he admitted he was slightly skeptical of Eeyore’s sudden increase in cannabis use, Piglet said he was glad to see Eeyore taking strides in his self-development and motivational habits.
Eeyore is now planning a promotional tour of his products at dispensaries across the country, sharing his journey with depression and medical cannabis.
As of the time of publication, it is still unclear how Eeyore might have created the brand, given that he is a storybook character and not a real human person.
Jack Delamater is a musician, business owner, writer, and goofball living in Los Angeles, CA — follow Jack on Spotify.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.