THORNVILLE, Ohio — Thornville native Claire Saffire’s recent fun evening with friends involving her first experience with cannabis edibles allegedly coincided with her first brief conversation with planet Earth’s satellite, the Moon. 

“A few hours after we each ate two acai blueberry gummies, I left Meg and Kris’s place and was walking home past the elementary school when I heard a deep, clear voice say, ‘Hi there, Claire.’ I looked around and gazed up, and I saw that the Moon was looking right at me!” said Saffire, who admitted she typically doesn’t make a habit of communicating with anthropomorphized heavenly bodies. “So I say, ‘Not as high as you!’ and I laughed and I think the Moon laughed but then it just said, ‘Okay, then. Goodnight,’ and kind of looked away. I was a little embarrassed, but still, how cool is it that the Moon knows my name?” 

A subsequent experiment with the same gummies featured no celestial celebrity encounters, though Saffire claims she did form a strong bond with her bedroom ceiling fan. 

Hi, I’m Kyle, and today I’m making gourmet hilarity. Twitter @KGordonStanley