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Mrs. Basso in 4E, for some insane reason, insists on planting tomatoes, zucchinis, and various other virgin-edibles.

I have explained to her on several occasions the greenery area on the roof of the building is for my grow operation, but she seems to think “community garden” means she can go plant her garbage among my cannabolic Eden.

I went to her unit on the fourth floor to investigate, fuming with anger, red in the face, barely able to contain my unbridled rage at her wasting space in my soil. I pounded on the door, and the 4’11 octogenerian opened the door and invited me in for zucchini-tomato casserole (which was delicious despite my utter exasperation causing a loss in sense of taste).

I asked her why she was taking up space in my weed spot but she didn’t seem to quite understand, answering simply, “How’s the casserole? Are you still hungry? I can put up some pasta and sauce if you’d like… did you have dinner yet? Come on, I’ll make something.”

She then proceeded to escape into the kitchen where she cooked enough food for a full battalion of men, laying out a smorgas board of various foods for me, expertly evading the issue of taking up all the space on the roof I have personally designated for my illegal grow operation.

That wiley old lady gave us zero answers and just continues growing those incredibly delicious but horribly space-wasting vegetables. Unbelievable!

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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