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CHICAGO — When it comes to improvisational comedy, one of its main pillars is “Yes And(ing)” — the practice of going along with the premise, no matter how absurd it may seem. But when it comes to audience members yelling out suggestions, you could see how improvisers might have to break that rule every now and then. 

Such was the case at the Laughtrack Theater in Chicago this past Tuesday, where one longtime fan shouted out “Doritos!” Which, in itself, wouldn’t have been so bad… if they hadn’t suggested it for every show of the trouple’s two-month run.

If you’ve ever been to an improv show, then you’ve probably heard a frat guy or teenage imbecile yell out “dildo” or “vibrator,” even when the performer on stage made it clear that they were looking for an everyday household product that everyone might use on a daily basis — a clarity that just encourages some to double down on the suggestion with the logic, “You can totally use that on a daily basis!”

But at this particular show, as can be said for many situations, once weed was added to the formula for one audience member, snacks became paramount. “Doritos” had become the “dildo,” and management had had enough.

“Look, we know it’s a really benign suggestion, as far as these things go,” said theater manager Kristin Torington. “But drunk people hear it and think it’s hilarious, and then they start shouting stupid things all night long and interrupting the show, and it just snowballs. That’s the real issue here. I pulled him out of the audience, talked to him in the hallway, and he got it instantly and apologized and went back in.”

“I didn’t mean to ruin the show or anything,” said a casually regretful Kenny Madsen, “but I was so high, and Doritos were on my mind again. I guess it just seemed funny at the time. And I tried to at least mix it up: I said ‘Cool Ranch’ one time, and another time I yelled out ‘Doritos Locos Taco!’”

“Fuck, those are so gnarly,” Madsen added. “You wanna go get some?” 

The performers didn’t seem too rattled by the incident. “We’ve basically heard it all by this point,” said Shannon Kilkenny of the Deep Thots improv troupe. Fellow member John Weiland IV added, “Honestly, I was just happy that he didn’t say ‘French tickler’ or ‘butt plug.’ We’ve all been high. It’s not a big deal.” 

And if he comes to the next show high again? “We just told him he has to bring us all Doritos next time, so we can make a bit out of it,” said Kilkenny.  

Johnny Sparkles is a Hawaii-born and based journalist, and stand up comedian whose debut album “Homeless Romantic” is available all over the internet. Twitter: @sparklesknows

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

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