Are you of legal age to consume cannabis related news?


WESTCHESTER, N.Y. — Adira Lanning, a professor of visual art at SUNY-Purchase, allegedly wondered today if her students knew she was extremely baked, while reports show that simultaneously, student Jeni Park wondered if Prof. Lanning could tell that Ms. Park was super high as well.  

“I was speaking about using layers in Photoshop — I think — and then forgot what I was talking about, but decided to just keep talking until I remembered my point, and it never came back to me,” said Lanning following her 1 p.m. Intro to Digital Photography class. “It was one of those out-of-body highs where you see yourself rambling and then look at the students like, ‘Can they tell?’ And your brain is like, THEY CAN TOTALLY TELL!’”

“I finally snapped out of it when I realized I was making some pretty serious eye contact with one of my students, but just like, staring right through her,” Lanning added.

While Lanning was sorting out her existential crisis, unbeknownst to her, one of her students was experiencing almost an identical predicament. 

“She was speaking about layers in photoshop, I think, and then I forgot to listen and was just wondering if she could tell, because it seemed like she was staring at me for a bit,” Park admitted. “It was one of those out-of-body highs where you see yourself sitting there and then look at the teacher like, ‘Can she tell? SHE CAN TOTALLY TELL!’”

When reached for input, Lanning’s TA Jason Soffer offered a single statement, saying, “Everyone could tell. It was extremely obvious.”

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

Click here to learn more.