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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Immediately following yesterday’s announcement by the state of New York to legalize cannabis, one New York City resident has reportedly already started brainstorming how to fit the maximum number of legally allowed cannabis plants in his 380 sq ft Brooklyn studio.
“I’ve been waiting for New York to get their shit together and legalize cannabis since the early ‘90s,” said 42-year-old Jesse Evans. “However, I never expected Brooklyn’s rent prices to skyrocket to where they are now… so I’m going to have to get really fucking creative to fit 12 cannabis plants in this closet of an apartment. My wife says there is no way in hell I can pull it off, but let’s just say there’s a reason I’m always the one to win at Tetris and pack our car for vacations. It’s just a matter of deciding what to get rid of that’s already here to maximize our space. Nobody really needs an oven these days, right? That’s at least two more plants right there.”
News sources from upstate New York are reporting that residents there are laughing hysterically while building community greenhouses in preparation for legalization.
Christopher Jones is a writer for Oregano, The Hard Times, and a variety of international brands. When he’s not writing he can be found working in video production and currently resides in a lovely New England town that is much nicer than where he grew up in Missouri. Find him on Insta @Chris_Jones_Creates
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.